All this time, I thought I was doing something for real. This blog was supposed to be for real, but it is not like me at all. I was suppose to explain my feelings; my utmost thoughts...those 'things' that bothered me or were always scrambling away in my mind. I wanted to relinquish those feelings and I thought I was, but in fact, nothing of me is here. I lose consistency each post and I'm losing track of what I really want to write about.

So I have decided to stop hiding behind this invisible boulder and just step out and say what I want. This is my own therapeutic session and no one else. I do not have to make sense. I do not want to make sense.. not until I sort of this mess of a mind at least.

I will be keeping the older persona posts just because I spent some time typing them. But they really mean nothing to me. They have no substance.

Why? Something gave me that spark again and I just remembered what I am doing. What my life means to me and how I plan to go about day after day with it. I do not know how to fully explain what I see, but this is where I start.